I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel as if I need to formally introduce myself to you lovely little humans. Preferably in the form of dot points so I can give the illusion of being organised when reality I am a hot mess.
So without further ado, here I am, Addie (even though my name isn’t actually Addie).
- I am 23 years old and question my mortality every single day. TIME IS RUNNING OUT. It’s not, but in my head I am one grey hair away from being a 67 year old alcoholic spinster.
- My Mum is American. My Dad is Greek.
- I have a cat named Vladimir Purrtin. He is the little love of my life. He is also the NAUGHTIEST cat I have ever owned. My legs look like I’ve had sex with Edward Scissorhands at all times.
- On more that one occasions people have described my life as one giant meme.
- I live with three boys. They are fantastic. Even if they do have a new insulting nickname for my cat on a weekly basis. This week it’s Ted Bundy.
- I have dropped out and re-enrolled into uni about 4 different times. Always in a degree that involved professional writing and editing. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that maybe uni just isn’t for me.
- My nickname is quite literally ‘Sloppy’. You don’t wanna know.
- I’ve been single for almost two years after a very good six year relationship.
- In those two years, I have run an absolute and utter muck.
- I fucking love wine.
- I’m quite convinced there’s an 87 year old woman hiding inside of me. My vocabulary is made up mostly of terms of endearment (possum, honey, love, handsome) and phrases plucked straight from the 1920’s (bees knees, cats pyjamas, goodness gracious).
- I wear red lipstick every single time I go out.
- I’m the worlds biggest flirt. Always have been, always will be. Have stopped trying to fight it now. Kinda like the Hulk, but instead of always angry, I’m just always horny.
- And finally, and most importantly, I am moving to London in September!!!!!!!!!!
So there you go kitty cats, that is moi. Well, at least a little glimpse into the mad human that sits behind the screen (usually half-pissed) and writes about her dysfunctional love life. We’re friends now. Don’t fight it.
TWENTY AND NOT READY 